Epizoda 1 řada (1991-1992)
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Karen: "Ale ne, mě se udělal pupínek... Zatím není vidět, ale už leze!"
Dana: "Dej mi včas vědět, uděláme mu místo u stolu."
Frank: "Carol, víš co by mě bavilo?"
Carol: "Vím, ale děti jsou vzhůru..."
Al: "Babička má jen jedno pravidlo - nepít z misky na zubní protézu..."
Al (na zrovna se objímající Carol a Franka): "Nechcete se náhodou množit?"
Frank: "Ne, když nás tak pěkně hlídáte..."
Dana: "Byli jsme na koncertě vylízanejch idiotů - s jedním jsem seděla."
Frank: "Ty necháš JTho pracovat v salonu krásy? No co když se to vykecá?"
Carol: "A co ja na tom špatnýho? Já tam taky dělám!"
JT: "Larsone, ty slintáš...víc než obvykle!"
Reverend: "Je zde někdo, kdo by měl námitky proti této svatbě?" (všechny děti zvednou ruce)
Frank (aniž by se otočil): "Ruce dolu!"
Cody (čistí motor svého chopperu zubním kartáčkem): "JT, nevadí, že jsem si na to půjčil ten kartáček?"
JT: "Nevadí, je Karenin..."
Frank: "Dobře, že jste tady všichni pohromadě, navrhnu vám něco, co se vám všem bude líbit!"
Dana: "Myslíš..."
Frank (hned ji přeruší): "Ne, rozvádět se nebudeme."
Carol (ukládá Karen trest): "Tejden bez telefonu!"
Karen: "Proč mě rovnou neodstřelíte?"
Karen: "Už se vidím, žiju v New Yorku!"
Al: "Taky se vidím, pomáhám ti balit!"
Carol: "To na něj nemůžeš být aspoň trochu zdvořilejší?"
Frank: "A proč? Pozvali jsme je na večeři a on se mi snaží prodat rakev! Jako by si tu chtěl počkat až umřu..."
Carol: "Chápu, že Norbert jde člověku na nervy, ale má vlastnost, jakou jsem u muže ještě neviděla - miluje mou sestru!"
Cody: "JT, právě čtu o chlápkovi, kterého unesli cizinci z vesmíru. Pátrají po známkách inteligentního života."
Dana: "Tak to nám vás dva neunesou."
Frank: "A nyní vám představujeme pokračovatele sportovní dynastie na střední škole v Port Washingtonu - JT Lamberta!"
Dana: "V disciplíně skoč, běž, přines?"
Dana: "Neříkám to často, ale s Frankem souhlasím, nesnáším ty dutý materialisty, kterým záleží jen na tom, aby na druhý udělali dojem."
JT: "Bodejť, když bydlíš s Karen."
Karen: "Té soutěže se chci zúčastnit od chvíle, kdy jsem si uvědomila, že jsem krásná!"
Carol: "Já jí tu Barbie neměla nikdy kupovat."
JT: "Proč nás má na povel Dana?"
Frank: "Máš lepší nápad?"
JT: "Dej mě velení!"
Frank: "Ptám se, jestli máš LEPŠÍ nápad."
Dana: "Můžu řídit?"
Frank: "Cože? Tobě se mám svěřit?"
Dana: "Když tě to bude znervózňovat, zavři oči, já to taky dělám."
JT: "Se mnou uděláte kariéru, brzo budete vystupovat na stadionech."
Dana: "Jako bych to viděla - buráky, hej, kupte si buráky..."
Carol (JT míchá svým oblíbeným způsobem kakao): "Co si tvůj táta myslí o tomhle nechutným zvyku?"
JT: "Že to chce víc praxe, abych byl dobrej jako on."
Frank (o otcově snoubence): "Já už vím, kde jsem ji viděl! Když se Bob loučil se svobodou, ona byla ta holka, která vyskočila z dortu a měla na sobě...jen ten dort."
Dana: "Nenechám vás zaneřádit koupelnu, měl by tu sprchu namontovat někdo, kdo tomu rozumí - třeba instalatér, údržbář...nebo pavián!"
JT: "Tak tě vezmem na pomoc!"
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